The Unfocused Life

2010-07-24T16:18:00.000-07:00

A.D.D.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Why can't I focus on ONE idea? I get a couple of chapters in and something else occurs to me and I want to get it down. Then I'm stuck-- equally into several different things unsure of which to work on. I really need someone who supports this whole thing. My husband in theory does, but he HATES to read so
1. he can't understand why I love to write (and read)
2.I'm so insecure about my writing I don't share with a lot of people that I am doing this.

If I had someone to go to, who could read what I was had on some of these and advise me on which is a stronger start I think it would help. But really, I don't have a lot of friends who are AT ALL into the things I am. I'm at that funky age I guess where my friends are either my daughters (she's 3) friends moms, or my husbands friends wives.

Arrggg! I'm so frustrated with myself. Is my goal too hard? To FINISH a novel? Because really, having 5 midway through is useless.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

In the beginning (AGAIN)

This is my second attempt at blogging. Even worse it's my second attempt blogging about my 50th attempt at completing a fiction novel. I guess that says something about my ability to follow through.

I'm going about it smarter this time. Aside from a few college courses (almost 8 years ago) I have never taken a writing course or researched the mechanics of writing. I would just sit down and do it. Sometimes I would know where I wanted the story to go and other times I just had scenes and characters in my head and I just had to do something with them.

This time I've got a good story arc(arch) and I feel like I know my characters so even if the plot takes a twist on me, I know who is involved.

Here's a few things I've read that have both helped and hindered my latest attempt.

** Be prepared to throw out and rewrite the first four chapters.
I always stumble over how to get the information I need out there to the reader. If I have a problem with it, it's too easy to throw in the towel early. Knowing this is going to be an area of HEAVY revision takes the pressure off.
** Keep an Excel doc of words written on a daily bases. It's fine and good to say I want to dedicate three hours to writing but in reality I may spend two of those staring at my computer unsure of how to go on.
** Don't BLOG. Clearly I have not heeded this one. Apparently it's a time AND creativity drain. I had never realized my creativity had an actual tank that could run dry. I think this is important for me- not for this to even be PUBLIC but for me to read. On those bad days where I can't think I can get on and look at what I've done, and things that have motivated me through the whole process.
** Don't revise more then one day back. This is the writing process, revision comes later. It's amazingly hard to move a story forward when you are constantly rewording and reworking the previous chapters.
** Write slim, add the fat later. I can be very wordy and descriptive. I have such a clear vision on this I want every reader to SEE it as I do. Of course if they through this down after a few pages they won't see anything.

One of the other things I struggle with is a lack of self esteem. I can tell myself all day long I am writing this FOR me and no matter how aware I am that the chances of having a first novel "attempt" published is very slim, but then I get to thinking- will I ever be good enough to have ANYTHING published? Am I wasting my time? So here's my party line- I ENJOY writing. I am doing this for me and the only goal I am reaching for presently is completing this novel. That is really all I can control anyway. I do know that if I don't finish this I can guarantee it will never be read by anyone.

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2010-07-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

In the beginning (AGAIN)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

This is my second attempt at blogging. Even worse it's my second attempt blogging about my 50th attempt at completing a fiction novel. I guess that says something about my ability to follow through.

I'm going about it smarter this time. Aside from a few college courses (almost 8 years ago) I have never taken a writing course or researched the mechanics of writing. I would just sit down and do it. Sometimes I would know where I wanted the story to go and other times I just had scenes and characters in my head and I just had to do something with them.

This time I've got a good story arc(arch) and I feel like I know my characters so even if the plot takes a twist on me, I know who is involved.

Here's a few things I've read that have both helped and hindered my latest attempt.

** Be prepared to throw out and rewrite the first four chapters.
I always stumble over how to get the information I need out there to the reader. If I have a problem with it, it's too easy to throw in the towel early. Knowing this is going to be an area of HEAVY revision takes the pressure off.
** Keep an Excel doc of words written on a daily bases. It's fine and good to say I want to dedicate three hours to writing but in reality I may spend two of those staring at my computer unsure of how to go on.
** Don't BLOG. Clearly I have not heeded this one. Apparently it's a time AND creativity drain. I had never realized my creativity had an actual tank that could run dry. I think this is important for me- not for this to even be PUBLIC but for me to read. On those bad days where I can't think I can get on and look at what I've done, and things that have motivated me through the whole process.
** Don't revise more then one day back. This is the writing process, revision comes later. It's amazingly hard to move a story forward when you are constantly rewording and reworking the previous chapters.
** Write slim, add the fat later. I can be very wordy and descriptive. I have such a clear vision on this I want every reader to SEE it as I do. Of course if they throw this down after a few pages they won't see anything.

One of the other things I struggle with is a lack of self esteem. I can tell myself all day long I am writing this FOR me and no matter how aware I am that the chances of having a first novel "attempt" published is very slim, but then I get to thinking- will I ever be good enough to have ANYTHING published? Am I wasting my time? So here's my party line- I ENJOY writing. I am doing this for me and the only goal I am reaching for presently is completing this novel. That is really all I can control anyway. I do know that if I don't finish this I can guarantee it will never be read by anyone.

My introduction

2010-07-24T15:11:00.000-07:00

This is my final attempt at a blog. Here's why I have always failed in the past: I try to split the aspects of my life into a "commercial" blog. Meaning- if you are looking for a "mommy" blog it would be one, or a blog on rheumatoid arthritis, or my very brief blog on trying to complete a novel. I could never do it... keep focused on the subject of the blog- because really the subject wasn't ME.

So this is something I putting together for myself. And yes, I've said that before- but it wasn't really true.

This is going to be about

My life at home: I've been with my husband for 8 years and married for 5. He travels for work with a NASCAR race team. It leaves me a "part time" single mom of our daughter who is almost 5. Did I mention my recent hysteria? DH (dear husband-- or sometimes damn husband) had reconnected via facebook with his ex girlfriend and entered into an emotional affair with her. Meaning they were talking--- a ridiculous amount! but had never "met up." More on this later............... if I get going I may not stop!

Rheumatoid Arthritis: I was diagnosed in 2008. I've just started Enbrel injections and I am hoping to get some relief soon.

I also have some blood disorders, Factor V Leiden and MTHFR. They are genetic but for the most part managed. I did have MUCH drama following my pregnancy and will forever worry about more blood clots but it is not something I have to deal with every day.

For fun: I have been an aspiring novelist since the age of 8. I have been "wanna be" crafty my whole life and during a recent break/remission in the RA I started knitting. I found lots of cool knitting blogs to follow and bought yard and finished my practice scarf and was all set to go on baby gift for some expecting friends. Of course I am mid flare with the RA and unable to knit, or even concentrate (thanks DH!).

Do you see why I can't keep things sorted out? Knitting is going to be impacted by RA, everything is impacted by my family... it's just all one big mess.

So here I am... I'm thinking I will copy my posts from the old blogs (at least the two I still have) and put them on here. I wrote them- they are nothing wonderful or that I would hate to lose but it's just like my old journals I have that I wrote in Jr High, sometimes it's nice to go back and see where you were at in the past.

I have found several blogs just by googling medical conditions so on the off chance someone falls into my blog I didn't want to be rude and fail to introduce myself or neglect to tell you who I am and what I am about.

The Unfocused Life

A.D.D.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

In the beginning (AGAIN)

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About Me

My introduction